Distance makes love fonder, they say.

Yet, it's because of the distance that,
You will never get to be invited to his birthday parties,
Nor will you be kissing his cheeks while he cuts his cake;
But you will always make sure his presence in one of your birthday wishes.

You will have to go home alone after parties, one hand holding your own balloons,
Another hand holding the phone, trying to tell him everything in the party through FaceTime,
From people getting drunk to inside jokes among your friends that he barely understands. 

That you will have to celebrate couple festivals alone as if you are single,
Or may be arrange a FaceTime date with the untouchable him/her within the 4 borders in front of you,
Pray for a better data connection so that you see him blink rather than squares and pixels of 180p.

Ask him the How-Am-I-Different-Today-Challenge,
And be amazed by him spotting the new orange-ish blush on your cheeks even through the screen,
Because girl, you never know how much time he spends looking at you while you sleep.

You will explore new foodie spots without him,
Never forgetting to Snapchat all along,
Just because the food are not really your kind, but his favourites.

You may realise you are a cry-er now,
Always about to burst into tears when whatever relatable triggers you;
But, girl I tell you, you are tougher than you think you are.

There is nothing more intense than the frustration upon your chest,
That you want him to be here for your much-needed hug;
Trust me, he will hold you as tight as he can if he is here.

You start saying a lot of "what if", "I wish", "I rather",
"What if you were here", "Wish you were here", "I rather you stay";
He has wanted to say the same too, but he knows he can't because he doesn't want you to feel any worse.

Loneliness is your frequent visiter now,
You will probably be in denial at the beginning,
But, slowly, you will realise how much you have to and are actually used to it.

You hate it when arguments are ending nowhere, but a cold war cooler than the Russia,
You know a hug can heal, yet it has become the last thing available in the universe;
Then pick up the phone boy, never let your girl hold her knees and cry alone.

You must have subscribed to cheap air-tix alerts,
Made a packing list and circled holidays pink on your calendar,
Counting down days until you can fly to him again.

You hunt for the perfect dress while he books the best fine dine place,
While you send yourself to him as an anniversary gift;
Finally celebrating the first proper anniversary after all these years.

Feel like single 10 out of 12 months a year,
Yet, the LDR-single that you are tied down to;
But, one thing you can be sure is he is LDR-single too and he loves you more than he loves dating.

And yeh, the countdown,
176days more to go?
Then feeling countdown surreal when it comes down to an one-digit wait.

Distance makes love fonder, they say.
It's gonna be hard too, they add.
But it's worth it, he assures you.

With love,
CC

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